Failures Happen

So, contrary to popular belief (or at least the few posts that I've made thus far) I am NOT a great cook.  I like to experiment and I'm pretty good at following a recipe, but sometimes the experiments do not turn out right.  And sometimes they are downright nasty.

Exhibit A:  Eggplant "Fries"

I bought an eggplant last week and decided that it would be a great way to make some foods that I haven't tried in a while, and I made some yummy eggplant stuff this summer, so I figured we'd give it another go.  So this is the recipe that I mostly followed:  http://www.closetcooking.com/2012/09/crispy-baked-eggplant-fries-with.html.



Ain't that pretty?

Well, turns out that eggplant does not want to become crispy.  Ever.  Eggplant is mushy and has never even begun to resemble "crispy" in my kitchen.  The final result was mushy eggplant sticks that stuck to my pan and tasted like bland couch cushions.  Maybe I followed the recipe wrong, maybe the interwebs have been lying to me, but either way, eggplant fries are a failure.


Exhibit B:  Muddy Mushrooms

I love mushrooms.  I don't think I ever gave them a try when I was a kid, but at some point I tried them and I haven't looked back.  Most times when I go to a decent grocery store, I'll get a carton of mushrooms.  Then one or two days that week, I'll oven roast them and eat them straight.  Its delicious.

So why is this a failure?  Well one time I was in the middle of roasting some mushrooms (it usually takes 20-25 minutes at 400F) and my friend showed up so we could take her dog for a walk.  Well, I figured that slow roasting things usually tastes amazing, and so I turned my oven down to 200 and happily sauntered off. Yeah, that didn't work.  My precious mushrooms were turned to black charcoal looking mushballs that were unfit for human consumption.

Ok, I thought, since I can't eat these straight I can at least save them and put them in a sauce or something.  I hate to waste a whole carton of mushrooms.  So then I decided to make a creamy mushroom sauce for some pasta the next day.  I chopped up my poor little black babies and put them in the sauce....and everything turned a nasty shade of gray.  Like old mop water gray.  Like the color Aunt Petunia dyed Harry's school uniform in HP1 gray.  Ew.  I'm not one to judge a recipe by how photogenic it is, so I proceeded to taste it and INSTANTLY regretted it.

Moral of the story:  burned mushrooms taste like crap.  And they cannot be revived.


I'm sure I'll have more kitchen failures, and next time I'll take pictures so you can see my prowess for burning and mutilating food.

My Go-To Dinner: Pan Fried Fish with Lemon Garlic Spinach

So there are some days I am starving and only have about 15 minutes before I collapse with hunger.  This is the recipe for those days.

Pan Fried Tilapia

Aldi sells frozen tilapia fillets that are pretty darn good.  They defrost really well in the microwave and then cook really quickly.



Dinner for 1:

1 fillet of fish (I usually use tilapia, but flounder also is pretty good)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon minced onion
tiny dash of cayenne pepper
salt and pepper

To make yummy fish mix up the spices and oil and lemon juice and rub it on both sides of the fish.  Heat up your frying pan on the stove and when it is hot, put in the fish.  I usually let it cook for 3 or 4 minutes on each side, but just keep an eye on it.  The fish is done when it is opaque the whole way through.

My fish occasionally flakes into a few pieces, which never bothers me since it all still tastes amazing, but if you want to make your fillets pretty, you can always make a pretty little package out of foil and put all of the seasonings in the package- you don't need quite as much oil if you cook it this way.  Then put the foil packet in the oven at 400 F for about 15 minutes.  The smell when you open it up is amazing!!


Garlic-Lemon Spinach

Whenever I buy a bag of spinach, I never seem to use all of it before it goes bad.  This recipe is delicious and it uses a LOT of spinach.  This is inspired by the spinach dish that came from the fish market next to my summer job last year.  I never knew I liked cooked spinach, but this dish is light and delicious.



~2 tbs olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
spinach- lots (plan about 2 cups raw for everyone you're serving)
a few squeezes of lemon juice

First, heat up the oil in the pan and start to cook the garlic.  Once it starts to smell amazing, put in your spinach.  I usually use about half of a big salad bag when I'm making this and I can eat all of it.  Spinach decreases in volume incredibly when you cook it, so about a whole pan full is just enough for me for a side to dinner.  Cook down the spinach until it decreases until about 1/4 its original volume.  About a minute before it is done cooking, pour in the lemon juice and let it sizzle.

Eat warm.  Make more if you need it!